Family-Friendly Travel Destinations

November 15, 2010 - Leave a Response
  • Mr. Roger’s neighborhood
  • Post-MJ Neverland Ranch
  • Bottom of a wishing well
  • A padded room
  • I heard some parts of New Orleans are ready for white people

Things We Lost In The Fire

November 15, 2010 - Leave a Response
  • Kerosene
  • Triangle Shirtwaist Co. employees
  • Homeowners insurance papers
  • The privilege of smoking indoors
  • Eight of New York’s bravest
  • The deposit on the space heater
  • Michael Jackson’s hair

An 8-year-old Terrorist’s Demands

November 15, 2010 - Leave a Response
  • Flip Video Camera for ransom tapes
  • Legos for fortress of doom
  • 10 o’clock bedtime
  • ALL the Pokemon cards
  • One chance to trash sister’s room and steal her bras
  • Arsenal of smelly markers
  • Bigger sandbox training facility
  • A beard

Euphamisms For The Womb

November 15, 2010 - Leave a Response
  • The baby sack
  • The other beer belly
  • The kiln
  • Mrs. Field’s Baking Factory
  • The time-out corner

It Gets So Much Better…

November 15, 2010 - Leave a Response
  • So much easier to get laid at NYU
  • Trust me man, just bend over
  • Straight girls will target you as an accessory
  • You get a free latte at Think Coffee on Thursdays!
  • You can finally craft your falsetto
  • You like like less of a douche in tank tops

Realistic Superheroes

October 18, 2010 - Leave a Response
  • The anonymous alcoholic
  • The slutty, untalkative girl
  • The stepdad who doesn’t help me with my training bra
  • The Muslim with the power to make people perpetually suspicious and uncomfortable
  • Diet Coke and Mentos lad
  • Shalom Finkelstein
  • The Downstein employee with a soul

Unknown Facts About Your Butthole

October 18, 2010 - One Response
  • It’s going to night school
  • It prefers Charmin to Angel Soft
  • It’s trying to quit smoking
  • It’s on the move
  • It won’t shut up about Ellen Paige
  • If you listen closely you can hear the ocean
  • It’s the president of the Nickelback fan club
  • It’s not a fan of Sasha Grey

Failed Keebler Cookie Ideas

October 4, 2010 - Leave a Response
  • Dark Chocolate Gary Colemans
  • My Big Fat Italian Wedding Cookies
  • Elf-dick surprise
  • Hundreds of squirrels die as floods in Washington Square Park continue [Note: this contributor may have not known what the fuck this list was.]
  • Pepperoni Nips
  • Indentured Servant Snaps
  • Figgity Faggities

What Brings This Many Women Together

September 26, 2010 - Leave a Response
  • Arbor Mist!
  • Dreamy eyes and a kind smile
  • The menstrual magnet
  • Daughters of Wilt “The Stilt” Chamberlain reunion
  • Compiling hateful lists about men-bashing and why everyone should just be a lesbian
  • Chocolate-covered dildos with a sense of humor and a job that pays well

What Christine O’Donnell Dreams About

September 26, 2010 - Leave a Response
  • The 1870’s, the last time her morals were popular
  • Alternative uses for all of the lube people keep mailing her
  • Shake-weights
  • The Scarlet Letter applied to modern society and hand lotion
  • That time she made it with her cousin, Old McDonald