http://readtheplague.wordpress.com A blog in the hand is worth two in the bush. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:12:35 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ en hourly 1 http://www.gravatar.com/blavatar/5519b7df8727366c8103f4436fcad1bf?s=96&d=http://s.wordpress.com/i/buttonw-com.png http://readtheplague.wordpress.com http://readtheplague.wordpress.com/2009/11/06/what-makes-us-puke/ http://readtheplague.wordpress.com/2009/11/06/what-makes-us-puke/#comments Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:12:35 +0000 The Plague http://readtheplague.wordpress.com/?p=375 ]]>

• Hippo cock
• Patron the drink
• Patron the mexican drunk
• Patrons of Johnny Rockets
• Fat hipsters
• Google image search of syphilis
• The surgeon squeezing my stomach

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• Reheated refried beans
• Shit and lettuce
• Just throw some fucking salt on it
• Just throw some fucking D’s on it
• Whatever’s left in the dumpster at Denny’s
• Corn on the feet
• Pre-prepared Gristedes meals

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• Get to hang out with Dean Braithwaite at all functions
• Is that a second tail or are you just happy to see me?
• No one will notice the syphilis
• Makes my job at Disney World way more exciting
• Can blame rape on being in “heat”
• FUCK KEN JENKINS
• Valid and accepted reason for suicide
• Because, otherwise, fucking on top of a bear is kind of weird
• Knowing what Chuck’s dick tastes like

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• Too much lace, not enough skin
• Ignoring weather report, insisting on paper mache
• Going to a Yankees game still dressed as a decent person
• Hooking up with a girl dressed as Kill Bill, finding out it was a German dude in a jumpsuit
• Don’t just stare at it, eat it!
• Hooked up with a girl, puked in her mouth so she started puking, turned into an endless puke fountain.
• Getting the rage and not spreading it.

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• Virgin
• Williamsburg Musk
• A-Train Stank
• Hood Rat
• Wet New York

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• Pizza Face
• Poker Face
• Tracy Morgan Disorder
• PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR!
• Swine AIDS

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• Increased heat vision
• Steve Martin
• Flagrant racism
• Inward boners
• Horse-sized dick
• Dick-sized horse
• Attending a showing of Where the Wild Things Are and audibly crying
• Spontaneous fisting

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• Josh’s Private Pants-off Dance-off
• Exception from the above Pants-off Dance-off
• “3rd Rock from the Sun” box set
• Pepperoni pizza (fuck you Craig)
• Chance to see highly disturbing fist in vagina photo
• Free Bang Bros membership

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• The antidote and/or the anecdote
• Cardio workout
• Medium-sized platter of Szechwan beef, no rice
• A VHS copy of Fool’s Gold
• Don’t have Chanukah gifts for nephew(s)
• Free day pass to any Disney park

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• Chocolate milk
• Pubic maintenance
• Yelling!
• That Pacific Life commercial with the whales and intense music
• The subtle sound of balls
• Scat porn, the musical kind
• BJs, the store
• Dogs with tiny penises
• Pre-sex beej
• The Taxi theme song

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