Family-Friendly Travel Destinations November 15, 2010

Mr. Roger’s neighborhood Post-MJ Neverland Ranch Bottom of a wishing well A padded room I heard some parts of New Orleans are ready for white people

Things We Lost In The Fire November 15, 2010

Kerosene Triangle Shirtwaist Co. employees Homeowners insurance papers The privilege of smoking indoors Eight of New York’s bravest The deposit on the space heater Michael Jackson’s hair

An 8-year-old Terrorist’s Demands November 15, 2010

Flip Video Camera for ransom tapes Legos for fortress of doom 10 o’clock bedtime ALL the Pokemon cards One chance to trash sister’s room and steal her bras Arsenal of smelly markers Bigger sandbox training facility A beard

Euphamisms For The Womb November 15, 2010

The baby sack The other beer belly The kiln Mrs. Field’s Baking Factory The time-out corner

It Gets So Much Better… November 15, 2010

So much easier to get laid at NYU Trust me man, just bend over Straight girls will target you as an accessory You get a free latte at Think Coffee on Thursdays! You can finally craft your falsetto You like like less of a douche in tank tops

Realistic Superheroes October 18, 2010

The anonymous alcoholic The slutty, untalkative girl The stepdad who doesn’t help me with my training bra The Muslim with the power to make people perpetually suspicious and uncomfortable Diet Coke and Mentos lad Shalom Finkelstein The Downstein employee with a soul

Unknown Facts About Your Butthole October 18, 2010

It’s going to night school It prefers Charmin to Angel Soft It’s trying to quit smoking It’s on the move It won’t shut up about Ellen Paige If you listen closely you can hear the ocean It’s the president of the Nickelback fan club It’s not a fan of Sasha Grey

Failed Keebler Cookie Ideas October 4, 2010

Dark Chocolate Gary Colemans My Big Fat Italian Wedding Cookies Elf-dick surprise Hundreds of squirrels die as floods in Washington Square Park continue [Note: this contributor may have not known what the fuck this list was.] Pepperoni Nips Indentured Servant Snaps Figgity Faggities

What Brings This Many Women Together September 26, 2010

Arbor Mist! Dreamy eyes and a kind smile The menstrual magnet Daughters of Wilt “The Stilt” Chamberlain reunion Compiling hateful lists about men-bashing and why everyone should just be a lesbian Chocolate-covered dildos with a sense of humor and a job that pays well

What Christine O’Donnell Dreams About September 26, 2010

The 1870′s, the last time her morals were popular Alternative uses for all of the lube people keep mailing her Shake-weights The Scarlet Letter applied to modern society and hand lotion That time she made it with her cousin, Old McDonald